What Fills Your Emotional Bucket Part 4: Physical Touch

What Fills Your Emotional Bucket Part 4:

Physical Touch

Why is it that when we think of a person whose love language is “Physical Touch“, we assume that it is all about sex? Well, there is good news for all of you who roll your eyes or freight over the love language “Physical Touch”. News Flash: It isn’t ALL about sex…actually 90% of the love language Physical Touch has nothing to do with sex.

Now that you can wipe the sweat off your brow, we can discuss the true meaning behind the misunderstood love language called Physical Touch.

In my blog series called “The Color Signature“, I talk about different personalities types and match those specific personality types with colors to help you remember them. One of the colors is a Yellow. People with this personality type are outgoing, talkative, people loving, loving life, attention getters, etc. If you ever watch “Yellows” in action, you will notice how much they touch people when they are talking with them. If you are a Yellow and do this, then you are probably chuckling right now and are picturing the last person you did this to…which was probably like 2 minutes ago J In saying all of that, my point is that Yellows like Physical Touch. This is how they show that they are comfortable. Now, Yellows are just an example and of course as with every other color, there are exceptions J I am one of those exceptions J You do not have to be a Yellow to have Physical Touch as your primary love language. Physical Touch isn’t my primary love language but it comes in as a CLOSE second.

Although my primary personality isn’t Yellow, I am still a hugger and a touchy feely kind of a person. I love when my husband, my children, my parents, my friends and new acquaintances give me hugs or touch me when they talk with me. It just makes me feel loved and important J If I am around people who do not enjoy hugging or “touching”, I tend to feel rejected by them or unimportant/left out. I had to learn the hard way that just because people do not allow me to hug them or get in their “bubble”, doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t like me. It may just mean that “Physical Touch” is not their love language.

Here are some key things to remember or keep in mind if your spouse has the love language of Physical Touch:

• They LOVE to be touched!!! They feel comforted/secure by this.
• It doesn’t mean you have to have sex with them all of the time to make them happy.
• It is a nonexpensive way to make your spouse feel loved and appreciated.

That is it!! Although there are not many things to remember with this love language, it can be quite difficult for you “no touchy” type of personalities J For example…I married a “no touchy, you are in my bubble, task focused” man. I have to say HATS OFF! to my hubby, Trent, for striving so hard to love me with my love language of Physical Touch. This is not an easy thing for him to do at all. It is not that he doesn’t love me when he doesn’t want me in his “bubble”, it just means that physical touch is not his love language and he has to work really hard at loving me in that way. Although this is a struggle for Trent, he chooses/makes up in his mind to love me with Physical Touch because:

#1 He loves God

#2 He loves me

This is called being in a Covenant Marriage. In a Covenant Marriage your love is steadfast, selfless, forgiving and permanent…just as God’s love is for the Church.

Here are some tips to satisfy that “Physical Touch” spouse of yours:

• Before you get out of bed in the morning, reach over and kiss your spouse on the forehead, arm, or cheek, etc.
• When you get home from work or from being out and about, go hug them and let them know how much you missed them during the day.
• Spontaneously, go kiss your spouse on the neck or put your arms around them. You don’t even have to say a word. Your actions say it all.
• Cuddle with them at night in the bed or on the couch.
• When you and your spouse or in public, go put your arm around them or hold their hand. HUGE BROWNIE POINTS with this one!
• In the car, hold their hand.
• Give a back massage or better yet, a full body massage J

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